if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
