idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
My ass is underappreciated
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize