is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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