so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
