We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
