So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
