he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
