none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Randomize
