Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
