why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Randomize
