Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize
