Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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