I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
