ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
