we should wear snuggies to the strip club
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
