someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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