yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
