remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize
