No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
