Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I wish i was in the wii world.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I will be naked everywhere
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
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