just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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