Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
