i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
