Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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