Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize