a queef is a wish your heart makes.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
