Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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