I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
