you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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