He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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