i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
