This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
