Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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