what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
