Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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