idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
