discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
