A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
