So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
