apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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