:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
