my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
