did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
