We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
