Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
