Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
