thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
