I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
