He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
