trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
operation have a gay friend backfired
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
