White coat. Heels.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
