I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Randomize
