She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Randomize
