youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Randomize
