there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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