Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize