Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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