Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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