god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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