You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
